Pinned Love
I need to stop romanticizing my love life.
It's just not there right now, honey. Just because he texted you back right away does not mean he loves you and wants to have 2.5 kids, a dog, and a house with you. You need to slow down. He’s most likely told at least 5 other girls they look so beautiful and natural on their snapchat filter. Why do you even believe these lies? We both know you have at least 3 pounds of makeup on plus the beauty filter. I mean, come on! No one has actual perfect porcelain skin. Or do they? Is he talking to someone else who has that kind of skin? Why can’t I have skin like that? Time to see what advice Brad Mondo has on skin treatments again…
No, you’ve gone off subject. You have to stop romanticizing your love life. Just because you have a feeling does not mean you should act on it.
Ladies get your wedding Pinterest board in order and on secret! One, because nobody needs to see that you pinned an entire wedding theme of “rustic literature” at 3am. Two, because you don’t want them to; this is your wedding. Those bitches can find their own themes, they are not stealing yours, not today!
Late at night, asking yourself, what kind of ties should the men wear? Maybe paper flowers would look cute! Ohhh and a wedding cake topper of us leaning back to back reading each other's favorite novels! How cute.
F no girl! Get your shit in order! You have to stop! You HAVE to STOP romanticizing your love life! Just because he paid for your coffee does not mean he’s worth the tears and wondering why he didn’t kiss you goodbye after the first date. Even though you knew you weren’t going to allow a first kiss anyway…
We know it we wouldn’t have let it happen, so why are we sitting here in the car now planning out what would have happened if he did kiss us? And not just any kiss.
It's raining, just a light shower. The kind of rain shower where you aren’t instantly soaked to the bone and your hair doesn’t frizz up. And you and he just stepped out of the bookstore cafe. There's only a little bit of a front overhang so you have to huddle together to say goodbye. You give him a smile and say you had a great time. He smiles as well and agrees. You both say goodbye and you turn around and walk towards where you parked your car. But by the third step you feel him pull your arm, turn you to face him, and kisses you. But not just any kiss. He puts one arm around your waist and another on the back of your head, with fingers trailing through your perfectly soft curled hair. Everything explodes and goes numb simultaneously with this kiss. Your toes curl. Your mind is spinning. Your cold heart is melted just like you wish your clothes would. You both pull back for air. How long were you kissing him? He smiles. This is perfect.
This is why we're having a “rustic literature” themed wedding. I mean this is how we end our first date. Come on! Fairytale!!
Are you serious? No. This is why you need to stop romanticizing your love life. Anyone who actually thinks like this must be crazy. No one actually falls in love like this. Your life is not a Romcom starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. There is no one outside your window right now holding a boombox above their heads. No man is actually going to follow you around as say “As you wish.” No one is going to kiss you awake from a sleeping curse, and even if that one did happen there is no way in hell, you'd be marrying him! No one is going to be marrying you for a green card, so they're not shipped back to Canada.
None of that stuff is ever going to happen.
You need to stop this all right now.
But just in case I’m not crazy, better check to make sure my Pinterest board is secret.
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