Fine Indeed
I start every day the same. Alarm goes off at 7am. I snooze it at least 3 times. Get out of bed at 7:18am and sit on the toilet and check my phone's notifications. What have I missed from the world while I was sleeping?
Instagram. Oh, Jenny and Sarah went out to another club. But on a Wednesday night. Honestly if I see them in the office tomorrow, I’ll have only admiration for them. I mean what troopers. But for now, I have only a shameful, old granny feeling for them. They were probably out at God knows where till God knows what ever time.
Oo, John has a new girlfriend. What is that, like the 3rd one this month? Gross but why do I find it weirdly impressive he has the time to go in and change his relationship status like it's flipping the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Shit I need to flip my laundry.
Wipe, wash hands (for more than 20 seconds, I mean come on people it’s 2020), and head to the laundry room.
Facebook. Aw, Aunt Lucy posted a picture of her new puppy. Damn they're so cute. I should get a dog. But I’m already taking care of my roommate part time, and at least he’s already house trained.
Alright time for coffee. I head upstairs towards the kitchen. Pop the Kcup in, pour the water in, place the cup below, and press start.
It’s time to check those emails. Okay, work email first. Yay Laura got back to me about the survey. Awesome, I’ll just email here back when I clock in today.
Next personal professional email. Nothing but junk.
Coffees done! Pour in a healthy splash of creamer. Mix and open up the personal email. You know the one we made in middle school that now is just basically used for fueling your shopping addiction and relatives. Junk, Sale at Bath & Body Works, Junk, Junk, ohh my Etsy order shipped, Junk, Junk.
Wait.
The Library sent me an email. “Now Fine Free!”
What!? Really!! Oh my god! OPEN NOW!
*while dancing around my kitchen* Oh my gosh! This is the best! I can now happily check out as many books as I like and not have to worry about paying fines when I forget about my books and forget to return them. Yes, I will no longer owe a debt to society! Ha, take that mom and dad! I am an upstanding citizen of the community yet again! No more library fines for me! I am a free woman! YESS!!
Take a sip of coffee and check email again to be sure I read it right.
…….. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
You mean to tell me I just did that dance all around my kitchen, pausing my drinking of somewhat delicious coffee only to find out YOU GUYS ARE NOT CLEARING AWAY OLD DEBTS?
BASTARDS THE LOT OF YOU! You greedy good for nothing librarian patriarchy. This is why no one likes you! This is why you're always portrayed as old, ugly, farts in movies! Even if it is what you really look like; reasons like this is why it's no longer a “coincidence”! I mean I told my parents I was no longer a burden to society! Out Loud! I know they're not here, but you know my mother felt that deep down in her bones. She’s probably going to call me now and yell at me for reasons she doesn’t understand, but you and I, we’ll know. We’ll know why my mother is yelling at me. I mean come on! What is it you're thinking of doing with my, wait? How much do I owe the library?
Click link. Log into account.
Balance due. $2.15.
You gotta be fuckin kidding me. A cup of coffee. My debt to the library is the equivocal amount of a cup of coffee. And a shitty cup at that. Fuckin hell. Bastards. Greedy good for nothing bastards.
Fine news indeed my ass.
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